The First 90 Days: Why How You Start Determines How You Lead

I ended my last post talking about the first 90 days of a new leadership role. I want to come back to that, because it's one of the things I see leaders get wrong most often, and it's rarely their fault.

Here's what usually happens.

Someone gets promoted because they were brilliant at their job.

Great with clients, sharp with numbers, first to put their hand up.

Then, almost overnight, they're handed a team and a title, and everyone assumes the rest will just click into place.

It doesn't.

Those first 90 days are when your team is quietly deciding who you are.

Not who you say you are in the intro meeting.

Who you actually are, based on what you do when it's hard, when you're tired, and when nobody's watching closely.

They're watching whether you follow through on what you said in week one.

Whether you ask questions or pretend to already know the answers.

Whether you give credit or quietly take it.

Whether you're consistent on a Friday afternoon the same way you were on a Monday morning.

Trust gets built or broken in those small moments long before any performance review.

I've lived both sides of this.

I've walked into new leadership roles feeling completely underprepared, figuring it out in real time while trying to look like I had it together.

And I've watched other new leaders do the same thing, quietly overwhelmed, terrified of getting it wrong, and getting no real support to help them start well.

That's not a personal failing.

It's a systems failing.

We promote people for skills that have nothing to do with leading, then leave them to work out leadership on the fly.

The good news is the first 90 days don't need to be perfect.

They need to be intentional.

That's exactly why How Not to Be a Shit Leader starts with leading yourself first, not leading others.

Before your team will trust your decisions, they need to trust you.

That means showing up with self-awareness, being honest about what you don't know yet, and responding instead of reacting when the pressure's on.

Everything else in leadership sits on top of that foundation.

If you're stepping into a new leadership role, or if you're honest enough to admit your first 90 days didn't go the way you'd have liked, it's not too late to reset the tone.

That's exactly what my 7-Day Reset is built for; seven focused days to break the habits that are quietly costing you trust, and start building the credibility your team actually notices.

And if you're not sure exactly where your own blind spots are sitting right now, start with the free Leadership Reality Check.

Takes a few minutes, and it'll show you exactly where to focus first.

Because the leaders people remember aren't the ones who got everything right from day one.

They're the ones who were honest, consistent, and willing to keep showing up better.

That starts now, not once you feel ready.